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Tuesday, 21 August 2012
The sun will come out ....
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Three weeks
If I'm really honest - I'm struggling. Struggling with keeping the faith mostly - I feel almost guilty because it seems my faith is slipping, lagging behind - like it should be bouying me up at this time, when honestly, sometimes it feels like another thing to deal with, or another thing to be guilty about.
Life seems to have both slowed down and sped up in the last three weeks. It has been and is really hard to me to sit back and let DH take over - especially when he seems to do it so much better than I feel I was. I overdid it yesterday (not asking for help with jobs I wanted done and lifting mr. 15 months) and today I am paying for it. Pain. So, moral of story, no you're not actually 100% yet, and even if you feel it, you're not. When they say 6 weeks - they mean it. Well, at least we're half way through. That's got to be a bonus.
The Missy is going great for a three week old - we have the same issue of thrush that we've had with all our babies, I'm actually surprised we made it to three weeks. Thankfully it only seems like it is on her wee bottom at the moment, so hopefully we can contain and treat it. Will google some more natural remedies once I'm done here.
I'm struggling with the whole work/job/home situation. I keep repeating to myself "I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and hope for a future" but mostly it seems hollow at the moment. Things seems to be in shades of grey, even in the sunshine. Well meaning and good intentioned people give suggestions about what we should do and where DH should be looking for work, but at the end of the day - life will continue happening - and we have to go with it. There are a few things we are applying for and investigating - and it's hard to explain to people that we are living one day at a time, when you yourself don't always get it. I am thankful we have a house - but I am yearning for a place to call home. I am thankful we have a government system that allows for us to eat and live - and still have some to share - but I do long for DH to be able to do the things he is passionate about and for me to be able to support him in that. Actually, now I'd just settle for a car that fits us all in so we can go out together and do stuff.
I do need to give a big thankyou to my wonderful friends on the end of the old fashioned telephone. You don't know how you have helped. Enough of my moaning now ... I'm going to go and take a nap while the Missy is.
In random news ... knitting is going great ... have cast on a Sorello by Tikki - this time in machine washable Bendigo Red, after I felted the one I did for Melinda when she was 1yr ... this is a size three and I'm hoping I'll have enough oomph to go and do a matching one for the wee missy. It is short sleeved, so will do transition of seasons well.
Life seems to have both slowed down and sped up in the last three weeks. It has been and is really hard to me to sit back and let DH take over - especially when he seems to do it so much better than I feel I was. I overdid it yesterday (not asking for help with jobs I wanted done and lifting mr. 15 months) and today I am paying for it. Pain. So, moral of story, no you're not actually 100% yet, and even if you feel it, you're not. When they say 6 weeks - they mean it. Well, at least we're half way through. That's got to be a bonus.
The Missy is going great for a three week old - we have the same issue of thrush that we've had with all our babies, I'm actually surprised we made it to three weeks. Thankfully it only seems like it is on her wee bottom at the moment, so hopefully we can contain and treat it. Will google some more natural remedies once I'm done here.
I'm struggling with the whole work/job/home situation. I keep repeating to myself "I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and hope for a future" but mostly it seems hollow at the moment. Things seems to be in shades of grey, even in the sunshine. Well meaning and good intentioned people give suggestions about what we should do and where DH should be looking for work, but at the end of the day - life will continue happening - and we have to go with it. There are a few things we are applying for and investigating - and it's hard to explain to people that we are living one day at a time, when you yourself don't always get it. I am thankful we have a house - but I am yearning for a place to call home. I am thankful we have a government system that allows for us to eat and live - and still have some to share - but I do long for DH to be able to do the things he is passionate about and for me to be able to support him in that. Actually, now I'd just settle for a car that fits us all in so we can go out together and do stuff.
I do need to give a big thankyou to my wonderful friends on the end of the old fashioned telephone. You don't know how you have helped. Enough of my moaning now ... I'm going to go and take a nap while the Missy is.
In random news ... knitting is going great ... have cast on a Sorello by Tikki - this time in machine washable Bendigo Red, after I felted the one I did for Melinda when she was 1yr ... this is a size three and I'm hoping I'll have enough oomph to go and do a matching one for the wee missy. It is short sleeved, so will do transition of seasons well.
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Baby news
Well ... we're minus a bump now ... we welcomed our little girl into the world on the 29th of July at 6.15 am ... she threw us a bit of a curve ball in that after being in labor for 9 hours it was discovered she was frank breech.
So .. it was a whole of lot fast happenings, mostly I remember just crying and telling DH I just wanted her here safe ... I was very scared of the epidural, but they didn't want to put me totally under - so I just had to suck it up and deal with it (ok, at the end of the day it is still something I would hate to repeat but I"ll chalk it up to experiences - like the New World ad, do something every day that scares you). There were lots of forms to sign (kinda hard when you have a lure in your hand and are contracting and in pain). I am really thankful we were in the hospital, I'm thankful for a calm midwife and DH.
Amazing things about her birth ... the same hospital midwife was on duty as has been on duty for all our children's births ... this to me is a total God thing. She only works 3 nights a week, and that night was her first night, so she was my midwife overnight for the next few nights as well. She is a friends Mum, and I've been so thankful she's been there with my own midwife for all the births.
Another God thing ... wee Missy was born on our friends birthday - super special ... we spent the night trying to call her as she was going to be at the birth, BUT couldn't get hold of her ... meant that she was able to be with me Sunday morning while DH went and had a rest and I have a trained nurse with me while the epidural wore off. She was also working afternoon shifts while I was in hospital, so could come over before and after her shifts. THANKYOU!!!
I'm thankful for many things surrounding this wee girls birth. People keep asking me if i'm sad I had a C-section. You know what ... NO i'm not. I'm not all like, yahoo that was an amazing thing - but at the end of the day Missy is here and safe and that is what counts, not whether or not she happened to exit via the vagina or a cut in my abdomen. I have a total awe for those who have had more than one C-section. If i have to compare it to my vaginal births, they were a walk in the park compared with this. Recovery is probably been the hardest, as we have four other wee ones, but my DH is amazing!!
Anyways, the Missy is sleeping, so I better as well ... more later!!
So .. it was a whole of lot fast happenings, mostly I remember just crying and telling DH I just wanted her here safe ... I was very scared of the epidural, but they didn't want to put me totally under - so I just had to suck it up and deal with it (ok, at the end of the day it is still something I would hate to repeat but I"ll chalk it up to experiences - like the New World ad, do something every day that scares you). There were lots of forms to sign (kinda hard when you have a lure in your hand and are contracting and in pain). I am really thankful we were in the hospital, I'm thankful for a calm midwife and DH.
Amazing things about her birth ... the same hospital midwife was on duty as has been on duty for all our children's births ... this to me is a total God thing. She only works 3 nights a week, and that night was her first night, so she was my midwife overnight for the next few nights as well. She is a friends Mum, and I've been so thankful she's been there with my own midwife for all the births.
Another God thing ... wee Missy was born on our friends birthday - super special ... we spent the night trying to call her as she was going to be at the birth, BUT couldn't get hold of her ... meant that she was able to be with me Sunday morning while DH went and had a rest and I have a trained nurse with me while the epidural wore off. She was also working afternoon shifts while I was in hospital, so could come over before and after her shifts. THANKYOU!!!
I'm thankful for many things surrounding this wee girls birth. People keep asking me if i'm sad I had a C-section. You know what ... NO i'm not. I'm not all like, yahoo that was an amazing thing - but at the end of the day Missy is here and safe and that is what counts, not whether or not she happened to exit via the vagina or a cut in my abdomen. I have a total awe for those who have had more than one C-section. If i have to compare it to my vaginal births, they were a walk in the park compared with this. Recovery is probably been the hardest, as we have four other wee ones, but my DH is amazing!!
Anyways, the Missy is sleeping, so I better as well ... more later!!
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