Three weeks

If I'm really honest - I'm struggling.  Struggling with keeping the faith mostly - I feel almost guilty because it seems my faith is slipping, lagging behind - like it should be bouying me up at this time, when honestly, sometimes it feels like another thing to deal with, or another thing to be guilty about.

Life seems to have both slowed down and sped up in the last three weeks.  It has been and is really hard to me to sit back and let DH take over - especially when he seems to do it so much better than I feel I was.  I overdid it yesterday (not asking for help with jobs I wanted done and lifting mr. 15 months) and today I am paying for it.  Pain.  So, moral of story, no you're not actually 100% yet, and even if you feel it, you're not.  When they say 6 weeks - they mean it.  Well, at least we're half way through.  That's got to be a bonus.

The Missy is going great for a three week old - we have the same issue of thrush that we've had with all our babies, I'm actually surprised we made it to three weeks.  Thankfully it only seems like it is on her wee bottom at the moment, so hopefully we can contain and treat it.  Will google some more natural remedies once I'm done here.

I'm struggling with the whole work/job/home situation.  I keep repeating to myself "I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and hope for a future" but mostly it seems hollow at the moment.  Things seems to be in shades of grey, even in the sunshine.  Well meaning and good intentioned people give suggestions about what we should do and where DH should be looking for work, but at the end of the day - life will continue happening - and we have to go with it.  There are a few things we are applying for and investigating - and it's hard to explain to people that we are living one day at a time, when you yourself don't always get it.   I am thankful we have a house - but I am yearning for a place to call home.  I am thankful we have a government system that allows for us to eat and live - and still have some to share - but I do long for DH to be able to do the things he is passionate about and for me to be able to support him in that.  Actually, now I'd just settle for a car that fits us all in so we can go out together and do stuff.

I do need to give a big thankyou to my wonderful friends on the end of the old fashioned telephone.  You don't know how you have helped.  Enough of my moaning now ... I'm going to go and take a nap while the Missy is.

In random news ... knitting is going great ... have cast on a Sorello by Tikki - this time in machine washable Bendigo Red, after I felted the one I did for Melinda when she was 1yr ... this is a size three and I'm hoping I'll have enough oomph to go and do a matching one for the wee missy.  It is short sleeved, so will do transition of seasons well.