Mix it up ...

Wanting

Waiting

Patience

Peace

You’d think that those things would all nicely meld together into some sort of melting pot, creating a beautiful end result where you can look back and smile graciously.  However, on the way to the beautiful end result, you have to go through the melting.  I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a whole bunch of ingredients melt together.  Some melt quicker than others, some bubble while the others are melting, some splatter around the edges of the pot, catching a hand or finger that was too close and sending a sharp burn.  Different shades, layers and scents all come together.

Source

 Life at the moment for me is feeling like a whole lot of different shades, layers and scents.  There is stuff I want, stuff I might even say our family needs.  However, at the moment, we’re in the pot, waiting for the heat to do its thing and melt and shape us.  A friendwrote a brilliant piece of waiting – what I needed to read this night.  Patience comes and goes in my heart at the moment.  I KNOW that all things work together for good, but while I know it, sometimes practically it means I have to fight the good fight, stomp the high heel into the thoughts planted in my head by the accuser of unbelief (the devil).  And you know what, that is hard.  Peace … well, that and rest are something that are also a work in progress in my life.  I’m slowly being taught through the word to rest only in the work of Jesus, not my prayers, not my readings, not my good life (or lack thereof) not my holy strivings.  The Bible tells me that it is the righteousness of Jesus that has paid for all my sins and iniquities.  Through Jesus all the promises of God are true for me.  I am a daughter of the King through Him, His beloved.  And there are promises I can claim through that amazing gift of Jesus on the cross.  I guess as we come towards Easter, I am thinking more about that gift and how much it has become real for me in the past three months. 

So … I want … yes I want and am thanking God already for the job He will provide for our family.  Some may say trust and faith only get you so far BUT I know in whom I have believed and He is able to keep all that I have committed to Himself.   This job may not come in the next 8 weeks, it may not even be the job we have planned in our head … but he will supply all our needs, graciously. 

So … I wait … and in that time of waiting I am thankful for the amazing gifts I have, for the blessing of having someone extra around the house at the moment, especially with this pregnancy.  I’m thankful for an amazing husband who shows strength of character, love, and leads our family in a path of faithfulness.  I am thankful for friends who care and share – who listen and love.

So … I pray for patience, to be a faithful witness to my God.  I know I trip and stumble and fall but I claim that I am righteous through Him alone, and am thankful I have the privilege of being able to worship through that.

So … I pray to rest in peace.  A peace that surpasses understanding since by most people’s standards I should be panicking about now.  Not through my own strength, but by His might and power alone.